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Cybersluts: An eleventh-avenue-south Wednesday Night Exposé
Homosexuals, or gays as they(we) choose to be called, often frequent chat rooms in search of sexual intercourse, and occasionally love. To clear up some confusion, I'll decode gay.com users and hopefully impart some wisdom.
The out-of-towner has a hotel room ready and waiting for your hot bod! It's a time for him to experience the exotic gay underworld without leaving the hotel room. Possibly married, probably not out at work, this guy keeps the front desk night shift gossiping for hours.
The closet guy insists he's bisexual, and is technically correct if he's married or has a girlfriend. He'll be gay in a few years, but in the mean time he wants discrete fun with straight acting, non-gay gay men.
The self-hating homo is also allergic to feminine acting men. He insists that "being gay doesn't run my life," and "I don't get why we need to push our lifestyle onto other people."
The depressed guy is ugly, and he knows it. He is always putting himself down in a desperate attempt to get someone to give him a pity fuck.
The cyberslut has no face, only a penis or ass. Dicksize is mandatory in stats.
The jock thinks he's a jock for the (questionable) sex appeal of the word jock. In real life he's a couch potato-pansy.
The abercrombie-zombie thinks they'll get laid because they have abercrombie or [insert brand name here] in their nickname. Boring. Unless they professionally model for [insert brand name here]. Only a fool would be interested in their shopping habits.
The masseur is nothing more than an escort which is a fancy name for a sex-worker. Professional masseurs neither advertise dick-size, nor search for clients in a chat room.
The gay.com hater hates gay.com, but spends much time in gay.com telling everyone how much it sucks. It's like people who hate eating shit, but talk about hating eating shit with their mouths full of shit.
The torso is a typing torso. There is no head and no legs, because the abs and pecs of the torso are this person's best quality.
The 'I'm too good for you, but looking for a date' guy is looking for a guy who is within 2 years of his own age, professional, masculine, down-to-earth, drama-free, height-weight proportional, etc., ect., etc. He lists many qualifications which are not likely to exist in the real world, let alone a chat room. (I'll admit to being this kind of chatter)
I must add my own type as well...
The Experimental Drunk guy doesn't really know what he wants. He's usually "bi-curious" and often drunk (or claims to be drunk anyway) to justify his wandering into the gay world. Generally speaking he knows absolutely nothing about gay sex and is generally just looking for a discrete hook up, if you go for it, you'll never see him a second time and probably regret "showing" him the ropes. These types can be pretty annoying.
